Before You Start: Give Yourself Permission
This page is a checklist. Checklists imply efficient, sequential action. But the first two days after someone you love dies are not efficient or sequential. They are foggy, exhausting, and punctuated by phone calls you don't want to make.
Most of what's on this list can be delegated or delayed. Almost none of it is so urgent that another hour of sleep, or another half hour with the body, or another phone call to your sister will cause real harm. Read the list. Then do the first thing. Then the next thing. Don't try to do all of it.
If you find someone unresponsive and you are not sure they have died, call 911. The rest of this page assumes you know the death has occurred -- either because hospice or a doctor has pronounced, or because EMS has confirmed.
The First Hour
If Hospice Is Involved
Call hospice. They handle everything in the first hour: pronouncement of death, calling the doctor, contacting the funeral home (if you've already chosen one), and providing emotional support. This is what hospice is for. Use it.
You don't need to call 911 if hospice is involved. In fact, calling 911 can trigger resuscitation efforts that go against the deceased's wishes if their DNR isn't immediately accessible.
If Death Occurred at Home Without Hospice
Call 911. EMS will respond. Be prepared for the following:
- EMS will assess and confirm the death
- Depending on state law and circumstances, a coroner or medical examiner may be required
- The police may briefly secure the scene -- this is standard for any death outside a medical facility, not a sign of suspicion
- An autopsy may be required if the cause of death is unclear or if the deceased hadn't seen a doctor recently
You may be asked questions about the deceased's medical history, medications, and the events leading up to the death. Answer honestly. None of this is investigative in any criminal sense.
If the death is determined to be from natural causes and a doctor signs off, the body is released to a funeral home of your choice. If the death is referred to the medical examiner, the body goes there first for examination and is released to the funeral home later.
If Death Occurred in a Hospital or Nursing Facility
The facility staff handles the pronouncement and the initial paperwork. They'll ask you which funeral home to contact. You can take time to decide -- the facility will hold the body in their morgue or coordinate with the medical examiner if necessary. Don't feel rushed to pick a funeral home in the first hour if you don't have one in mind.
If the Death Was Unexpected
Whether at home, in public, or in an emergency room, unexpected deaths involve more questions and more agencies. The medical examiner will likely be involved. Investigators may want to talk to you. You may be asked to identify the body. None of this is fast, and it's emotionally brutal. Bring someone with you if you can.
Hours 1 to 6
Notify Immediate Family
Make the calls to immediate family -- spouse, children, parents, siblings of the deceased -- as soon as you can. These are the people who need to hear it from you, in person if possible, or by phone if not. Text is acceptable for immediate family when you can't reach them by call, but try to call first.
Don't try to call everyone. Pick one or two people you trust to help spread the word to the broader circle. Many families set up a group text or chat for this purpose -- one person posts updates, and the rest of the family is kept informed without you having to repeat yourself.
Wait on social media. Don't post anything publicly until close family has been notified. People hearing about a loved one's death through a social media post is a wound that takes a long time to heal.
Decide About Organ and Tissue Donation
If the deceased was a registered organ donor (often noted on their driver's license), the hospital or hospice will discuss the process with you. Tissue donation (corneas, skin, bone) has a longer window than solid organ donation and can sometimes happen even after a death at home, as long as the body is recovered quickly.
If the deceased had a known wish about donation, follow it. If they didn't and you're unsure, donor coordinators will explain the options and timeline. You're not required to decide in the first hour, but the window for many types of donation is short -- often within 6 to 24 hours of death.
Begin Funeral Home Coordination
The funeral home does two main things in the first 24 hours:
- Takes custody of the body (or coordinates with the medical examiner)
- Begins the paperwork for the death certificate
You don't need to plan the entire funeral in the first meeting. Tell the funeral home you'll come back tomorrow to discuss services. They'll provide a price list (required by federal law -- the FTC Funeral Rule) so you can compare costs.
If you don't have a funeral home in mind:
- Ask the hospital, hospice, or family doctor for recommendations
- Check online reviews (carefully -- the death-care industry has a lot of biased reviews)
- Ask trusted family or friends who have used a local funeral home recently
- Don't feel obligated to use the first one suggested -- you have time to choose
If the deceased was a veteran, mention this. They may qualify for free burial in a national cemetery and other benefits.
Secure the Deceased's Home
If the deceased lived alone, their home is now empty and vulnerable. In the first 24 hours:
- Lock all doors and windows
- Bring in mail and packages
- Set lights on a timer if possible
- Take any valuables to a safer location if you have a key
- Don't post the death publicly until the home is secure -- thieves do scan obituaries
If the home has pets, arrange care immediately. If you can't take them in, call a neighbor, a friend, or as a last resort, a no-kill shelter to board them temporarily.
If the deceased had a car parked at the location of death (a hospital, a park, a friend's house), arrange to retrieve it. Cars left in unauthorized spots get towed.
Hours 6 to 24
Locate the Will and Important Documents
Look for the will and any directives the deceased left:
- Will -- typically in a desk, safe, or safe deposit box. Some people leave a copy with their attorney; check there too.
- Living will / healthcare directive -- usually with medical records
- Power of attorney -- ends automatically at death (it doesn't survive), but you may need to show its existence for some purposes
- Funeral / burial instructions -- separate from the will, often kept with personal papers
- List of accounts, passwords, important contacts -- some people maintain a "death binder" for this purpose
Don't open or remove anything from a safe deposit box yet. Most banks require a death certificate (and sometimes court authorization) to access the box. You'll deal with the safe deposit box in week one or two.
Notify Close Friends and Extended Family
Once immediate family has been told, the circle widens. This can be done over the next 24 to 48 hours. Don't rush it.
For each notification, share:
- The fact of the death
- The general circumstances (you can keep this brief)
- Whether services are being planned and roughly when
- The best way to reach you if needed
A few practical scripts that work:
- "I'm calling with very sad news. Mom passed away this morning. The funeral home is making arrangements and we'll know more about services in a day or two."
- "I wanted you to hear this from me. Dad died last night. We're still processing. I'll let you know about services when we have details."
People will offer help. Most won't follow through -- which is normal, not malicious. When someone offers something specific you actually need (a meal, picking up out-of-town family at the airport, walking the dog), say yes.
First Funeral Home Meeting
By the second day, most families have a longer meeting with the funeral home to plan services. Topics to expect:
- Burial vs. cremation
- Service type (full funeral, memorial service, graveside service, none)
- Date, time, location
- Casket or urn selection
- Obituary text and where it will run
- Number of death certificates to order (start with 10 -- you can always order more)
Bring someone with you to the funeral planning meeting if you can. Decisions made in deep grief are often regretted later, and a second pair of ears helps.
Hours 24 to 48
Order Death Certificates
You'll need certified copies of the death certificate for everything that comes later -- closing accounts, filing claims, transferring titles, dealing with the will. Most funeral homes order them for you as part of the service.
Order 10 to start. They cost $5 to $25 each depending on the state. You can always order more later, but having a stock of 10 upfront means you can move quickly when institutions ask for one.
See our guide on how many death certificates you need for guidance on how many to order.
Notify Employer (If Applicable)
If the deceased was employed, notify their employer within the first 48 hours. The employer needs to:
- Stop payroll
- Coordinate any group life insurance benefit
- Confirm any unused PTO or final paycheck
- End access to systems and return company property
If the deceased was the primary income earner and the family depends on the income, ask about:
- Last paycheck timing
- Any employer-sponsored life insurance benefit (the employer typically initiates the claim)
- COBRA continuation for health insurance
- Pension or retirement plan beneficiary designations
This isn't urgent in the sense of "today or tomorrow" -- but most employers prefer to know within a week, and the family benefits if the conversation happens early.
Notify the Funeral Home About Veterans Benefits
If the deceased was a veteran, the funeral home can apply for VA burial benefits on your behalf, including:
- Burial in a national cemetery (free)
- Headstone or grave marker (free)
- Burial flag
- Funeral honors (uniformed military participation)
- Potential burial allowance for non-service-connected deaths
Have the deceased's DD-214 (military discharge papers) ready if you can find it. The funeral home or VA can help replace it if you can't.
Decide on an Obituary
Most funeral homes draft an obituary based on a brief intake form you fill out. They'll publish it on their website and submit it to local newspapers if you ask. You can also write your own and supply it.
Things to consider:
- Length: Newspapers charge by the column inch -- longer obituaries can run $200 to $1,000+
- Survivors: List immediate family. Be thoughtful about who's included and how relationships are described
- Service details: Include only if you want the public to attend. Private services skip these
- Memorial donations: Often included as an alternative to flowers
- Social security number, full birth date, address: Don't publish these. Obituaries are scraped by scammers and the deceased's identity can be misused for years after death
What Can Wait Until Day 3 and Later
It's worth saying explicitly: nearly all financial and legal work can wait. In the first 48 hours, don't try to:
- Close bank accounts (they don't even need to know yet)
- File the will with the probate court
- Notify Social Security (the funeral home typically handles this automatically -- see notifying Social Security of a death)
- Cancel credit cards
- Cancel subscriptions
- Deal with the IRS or state tax authorities
- Sort through possessions
- Open probate
- Hire a probate attorney
- Make any major decisions about real estate
All of these have weeks-long or months-long timelines. The estate is in no rush. You are in no rush.
A Note on Grief in the First 48 Hours
You will not feel what you expect to feel. Some people are flooded with grief immediately; others feel oddly numb and worry that something is wrong with them. Both are normal. There is no correct emotional timeline.
Take care of basic physical needs. Eat something even if you're not hungry. Drink water. Try to sleep. Accept help with food and errands. Cry when you need to cry. Sit quietly when you need to sit quietly.
If you have children with you, be honest with them in age-appropriate language. Children are remarkably resilient when adults are honest with them.
If you find yourself unable to make decisions or function physically, ask for help. Trust a friend or family member to drive you, make calls, sit with you. This is not weakness -- it's the right response to a very large thing happening.
What Comes After: Days 3 Through 14
By day 3 or 4, the funeral is usually within a few days or has just happened. You'll start to think about what comes next -- the will, the accounts, the estate. We have a step-by-step probate checklist and a 5 things to do immediately guide that pick up where this one ends.
You'll also start to face the strange administrative aftermath of a death -- mail addressed to the deceased, automatic bill payments that need to stop, subscriptions to cancel, accounts to close. Each of these is a small task, and together they take months. Pace yourself.
How SwiftProbate Can Help
The first 48 hours are about the body, the funeral, and the immediate family -- not about probate. Once you're ready to think about the estate (often a week or two later), SwiftProbate organizes everything that has to happen: bank accounts, real estate, vehicles, retirement accounts, debts, taxes, and notifications, sorted into a state-specific checklist tailored to your loved one's specific assets. You don't need to figure out the next steps alone, and you don't need to do them all in the first week.
This article is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. Consult a qualified attorney for guidance specific to your situation.